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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26155183">Studied</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yungidreamer/pseuds/yungidreamer'>yungidreamer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Yungi Soulmates [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bad Parenting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, Love, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Self-Acceptance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:33:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26155183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yungidreamer/pseuds/yungidreamer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Home is supposed to be a safe place, but sometimes innocent things have unintended consequences. An evening of studying ends with broken hearts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeong Yunho/Reader, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Song Mingi/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Yungi Soulmates [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898728</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Studied</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Can I get you something to drink?” Yunho asked over his shoulder as Hong Joong pulled his books out of his bag and onto the kitchen table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Hong Joong nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soda, juice, sparkling water,” Yunho listed out the drinks he could see in the fridge. “Something aloe...not sure what that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about a soda,” Hong Joong chuckled, amused by the last observation. Yunho pulled two cans out, one for each of them, and joined him at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for coming over to help me study,” Yunho said, opening his notebook. “Some of this science is just going right over my head…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” he waved away the thanks and turned to the start of the chapter they had spent the week covering in class. “The material is hard. I’m just lucky I basically took this in high school. I did AP chem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank god you sat next to me,” Yunho laughed. “I’ll pay you back with dinner tonight. I can look and see what we have later. If we don’t have anything worth eating we can just order something when my roommates get back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like a plan,” Hong Joong agreed with a smile. “Okay </span>
  <em>
    <span>Phases and Classifications of Matter</span>
  </em>
  <span>, have you ever heard such a scintillating opener?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm, sexy,” Yunho joked back. The tension broken, they set about going through the dense material of the chapter, doing their best to slog through, focusing on the definitions and concepts that would likely be covered in the test next week. Yunho wrote out notes as they went through, comparing them to those he had taken in class.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just keep getting stuck on what the hell the difference is between weight and mass,” Yunho cradled his head, staring at the paper in front of him. “I know they are different, I do, it’s just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, just think of it as like...the mass is how much space it takes up,” Hong Joong mimed out a sphere in the air in front of him. “If you have something this size, the mass is going to be the same here, or in space, or on Jupiter, but the weight depends on how that mass interacts with gravity. The mass of something, how much there is of it, doesn’t change, but it’s weight depends on how gravity attracts it to other bodies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay I think I get it,” Yunho nodded, scribbling something down. “Let’s see if it sticks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A whooshing clunk sounded as the front door opened and someone entered the house. Yunho hopped up, leaving Hong Joong at the table as he went to go greet whoever it was. The heavy footfalls that approached, told him it was Mingi that had arrived home first. The two met near the kitchen door, their paths crossing just outside the double wide door between the kitchen and the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey I--” Yunho started to mention that he had a friend over to study but was cut off by a happy and eager Mingi, who had greeted his approach with his trademark full face grin, taking his head in his hands and bringing his lips to his own for a joyful kiss. He was happy to be home; happy to have the week over; happy to touch someone he loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yunho froze, immediately regretting not messaging Mingi that he was bringing someone over to study. The study session hadn’t been planned. He had only asked him if he was free as they were packing up at the end of the class. It hadn’t crossed his mind to message her or Mingi that he was bringing someone by to work with. He couldn’t have even guaranteed that Mingi would have seen it if he did. He turned his phone off in class and sometimes forgot to turn it back on before he got back. After all, class was less than a half an hours walk from their front door. Maybe it would have been useless, but at least then he would have tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi broke the kiss, pulling back to look lovingly at Yunho’s face. He could see it, the moment that Mingi saw, over his shoulder, that someone else was there. His face fell and he blanched. Without a word, he stepped back, turning to go down the hall as quickly as he could manage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mingi wait,” Yunho called after him, his guest at the table forgotten, aside from the unintended impact his presence had had on the boy he loved. “Hey, wait—” He called out again as Mingi disappeared through the door to his room, slamming it closed behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She entered the front door, taking off her headphones as she stepped inside. Putting down her book bag next to the couch, she headed for the kitchen to look for something to snack on while she waited to talk to the boys about dinner. An unfamiliar face greeted her in the kitchen, which oddly looked more surprised to be there than she felt to find him there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hi,” she greeted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi--hello,” the boy quickly stood up, extending his hand to her. “I’m Hong Joong, I’m in Yunho’s chemistry class. We were studying…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, well, welcome,” she gave him a welcoming study. “Did Yunho go to the bathroom or…” Her eyes scanned the study material still strewn across the table, clearly still in use. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh well,” Hong Joong shifted uncomfortably. “I think his boyfriend was surprised I was here… I didn’t mean...It isn’t a problem that he’s gay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boyfriend…” she froze, blinking, as if that would solve the malfunction that was happening in her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he sighed. “The kiss was actually kind of cute, they seem like a sweet couple, but I guess maybe they aren’t out and...it’s not a problem. I’m not going to say anything. I won’t say anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” She plastered a bland smile on her face. “It’s just...things are complicated at the moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I understand,” He nodded, a regretful look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate to leave you alone,” she sighed. “But do you mind if I go check on them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, yeah, that’s fine.” He insisted. “Just— Should I go, or…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ummm, let me go check on them,” she shifted, looking towards the hall. “Yunho might want to study a little more or at least say goodbye, so, maybe wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, right, sure,” Hong Joong nodded, stepping backwards toward his seat, a worried look still on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, really,” she gave him a smile before setting off for the hallway, mentally cursing everything...Mingi’s father most of all. She found Yunho in the hall, leaning against Mingi’s private bedroom door, his forehead pressed against the white wood as he said something she couldn’t quite make out until she drew near.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...if you would just let me in,” Yunho spoke to the person on the other side of the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened,” she whispered harshly, keeping her voice low so that it wouldn’t travel to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It...it all just happened so fast,” Yunho looked pained as he turned slightly to look at her. “I just wanted to study a little and I forgot to message either of you. He just came home...and I was going to tell him...I was headed to tell him I had brought home a friend...but he got to me first, and he was so happy to see me, he just...it was just a kiss. He should be able to come home and kiss me if he wants. Home should be safe. I...I fucked up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she nodded, running a hand over his arm. “First, what do you want to do with your friend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Yunho rubbed his face, feeling like there was no winning for him at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need to study?” She decided to focus on the practical things first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I’m an idiot when it comes to chemistry and—“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, then go, explain what you need to, to your friend,” She sighed, casting a look to the closed door. “Study for another hour or however long you can concentrate tonight. If you can’t, then talk to him and plan something over the weekend. Maybe meet at the library or something. I’ll see if I can’t talk to Mingi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Yunho’s chest hurt and he was sure he wouldn’t be good at focusing any more tonight but… how important was it for him to keep up appearances?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Accidents happen,” She drew in a long breath through her nose. “Let’s just try not to stumble into any more incidents like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please talk to him for me,” he begged quietly. “Please make him understand...I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try. Go talk to your friend,” she shooed him away, watching him walk away down the hall before she knocked on the door. “Mingi, baby, please let me in…” There was a faint shuffling on the other side of the door, then…a click. The door swung open a few centimeters and she could make out the sound of retreating footsteps. Pushing into the room, she let her eyes adjust to the dim room. He had turned off all the lights and closed the curtains to make the room as dark as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slipped inside, closing the door behind her, her eyes scanning until she found a lump on the floor near the foot of the bed. He sat there, making himself as inconspicuous as he could, legs pulled up to his chest, his face hidden in his knees. He looked small...and sad...like he wanted nothing more than to disappear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby,” she knelt down beside him, her hands going to the messy mop of brown hair that stuck out in every direction. He had clearly been running his fingers through his hair, pulling at it in frustration with himself. “Please talk to me, love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi lifted his head enough for his eyes to peer at her over the line of his knees. His eyes sparkled with unshed tears that spilled the moment he blinked. “I…” he managed to choke out before his throat closed and he couldn’t make another sound.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay,” she soothed, stroking his head. He let his knees drop and reached out with his long arms, drawing her into his lap and holding her like she was the only thing keeping him afloat in an ocean of pain. Her arms wrapped around him in return, letting him tuck his face into where her neck and shoulder met as he let out a soul crushing sob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the dark of the room, she sat with him, quietly letting his warm, wet tears soak through her t-shirt as she gently shushed him. She rubbed the broad expanse of his back in slow circles with one hand as the other held his head, her fingers gently running through the soft fluff of his hair. In the moment it was all he needed, it was all he could take. In a few minutes the feeling of pure panic subsided, the choked feeling in his chest had loosened enough for him to not feel like he was drowning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” She murmured, hoping to get him to say something, anything, to indicate that he was past his moment of horror.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I just came home, I was so happy to see Yunho,” he shook his head, letting out a wet hiccough as he took a breath. “I wasn’t thinking. I was so stupid, so stupid. I wasn’t careful. I just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go on,” she encouraged, continuing to hold him. “Just tell me what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s home,” he shrugged, his shoulders drooping even further as he let it go. “I didn’t think I had to be careful. I just saw him and he looked so good. School has been hard and I just wanted to kiss him...and I did.” He pulled back, letting his head rest against the bed as he looked pleadingly at the ceiling. “I pulled back and that is when I saw him. I saw his face. He looked so disgusted. I can’t...I just...I feel gross.” Hot tears ran from the corners of his eyes as he tried to draw a breath only to find he couldn’t. He could only draw short gasps, choked short by the fear coursing through him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey,” she soothed, using her hands to make him look at her. “He wasn’t disgusted. I’m sure he was just surprised, that’s all. You are...unexpected, baby. That’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that,” he insisted, a hint of panic still dancing behind his eyes. “You didn’t see his face. You d-d-didn’t see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw him when I came in,” she assured him. “I talked to him. He even said you two were cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh-wha-what?” He stuttered out past his hiccoughing breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said you two were kind of cute,” she wiped away the dampness of his tears. “He doesn’t think you are gross.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know he wasn’t just saying that?” Mingi asked, not sure he could believe it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me,” she smiled. “I wouldn’t lie to you. And you know I would hunt someone to the ends of the earth if they wanted to hurt you or Yunho.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But…” he began, only to have her cut him off with a gentle kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, he seems nice,” she added. “Maybe you can go out and see for yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t--” his eyes widened and he shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love, I won’t make you come,” She calmed, speaking in a quiet, assured voice. “But am I usually right on things like this?” He nodded. “Would I ask you to do this if I thought, even just a little, that it would hurt either of you?” He shook his head. “Will you come out with me?” He paused before giving her a smaller, less sure nod. “Okay, let’s stop by the bathroom to rinse your face a little first, yeah?” He agreed, letting her stand before taking her hand and letting her lead him into the bathroom. He washed and dried his face, frowning at his slightly pink and puffy eyes which would not disappear with just a quick wash, then allowed her to comb his hair into some semblance of order.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready?” She asked. Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “You know, you’re beautiful even when your eyes are puffy from crying.” He let out a surprised and pleased scoff of a laugh, hugging her tightly in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yunho walked back into the kitchen, half surprised to see Hong Joong still sitting there at the table. He was staring into space, clearly distracted by his own thoughts, only turning when Yunho approached the table and moved into his peripheral vision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, look,” Hong Joong started, a worried look painting his features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, let me,” Yunho interrupted, then paused, trying to decide how to apologize and explain. “This is really my fault. I forgot to mention that someone was coming over and…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two are still in the closet,” Hong Joong filled in. “That’s okay. I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> say something about it if you aren’t out. I can keep a secret.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...thank you, but,” Yunho sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not that simple. I would appreciate you not saying anything but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean what is that simple,” Hong Joong joked, trying to lighten the mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Yunho agreed, letting out a laugh at the attempt at jest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is your first semester here, isn’t it?” He confirmed, allowing Yunho to nod before he continued. “The campus has a lot of LGBT students and even some professors that are out. The campus is a safe place. There are clubs and support groups and I have some people I could introduce you to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s...that’s nice of you,” Yunho gave him a nod and grateful smile. “It is still more complicated than that. I’m not sure we would really fit in and…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No pressure,” Hong Joong put his hands up, backing up but letting the offer stand. “You don’t have to do anything, and the offer will always be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Yunho said earnestly. “I can keep that in mind I just…I still need to study, and if you don’t mind helping me still, I’d really appreciate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to keep going today, or…” He let the offer hang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Yunho scoffed, looking at the books and papers strewn across the table. “I should, I just...my mind isn’t on the books right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to,” Hong Joong said agreeably. “I guess maybe tomorrow would be alright, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I just need a few minutes,” Yunho shook his head. “Do you mind if I make myself a snack?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No that would be fine,” Hong Joong accepted affably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yunho nodded and walked over to the refrigerator, pulling out everything he needed to make himself a sandwich. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you want a sandwich, too?” He offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure, thanks,” Hong Joong agreed, though he probably would have agreed to slamming his hand in a door if he thought it would reduce the tension in the house. Honestly, he felt terrible. When he had seen the other boy kiss Yunho, he had indeed been surprised by the sight. He hadn’t been grossed out but, honestly, he would never have guessed Yunho was gay. It just came out of left field. He had been totally taken by surprise and it had undoubtedly shown on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The stupidest thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he berated himself in his head, </span>
  <em>
    <span>was that it didn’t fucking matter</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He felt like a moron, but it had just hit him the same way catching a frog working a smartphone would have. It was just completely unexpected. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re better than this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he scolded himself silently. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You wouldn’t have made that face you did if that girl had come home and done the same. God, I’m so embarrassed.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He squirmed in his seat, debating bowing out and just starting fresh tomorrow, but he didn’t say anything, just watched in silence as Yunho worked on making some sort of sandwich, he hadn’t even asked what kind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the silence, they both heard the click and creak of a door opening somewhere in the hall. Footsteps moved further down the hall then disappeared. In the kitchen everyone held their breaths in the silence, wondering if someone was coming. Yunho stood, bread in hand, hoping to hear more, but nothing followed. Letting out the breath with a heavy sigh, he finished assembling the sandwiches. He passed one to Hong Joong and flopped down at the table to eat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both took their first bites and were met with the disappointment of it mostly tasting like paste. The food itself was fine, it was probably even delicious, but their taste buds couldn’t register it past the cloying discomfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Footsteps sounded down the hall again and both boys looked up, putting the food down as they looked in the direction of the sound. She emerged first, one hand extended behind her with Mingi following, gripping it tightly with both hands. Yunho moved to stand up, only to stop when she shook her head. She escorted Mingi to the empty seat beside Yunho, opting to stand behind him with a comforting hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi kept his eyes down, focused on the table. He looked terrible, Yunho thought. His nose was red, his eyes were slightly puffy, and he looked like his heart had been broken in two. Yunho reached out under the table, putting a palm on Mingi’s knee, only to have him pull away. It was like a stab to Yunho’s heart. He wanted to say he was sorry, he wanted to comfort him...he wanted to hold him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mingi, baby,” she said softly. “I’d like to introduce you to Hong Joong. He came by to help out our Yunho study.”</span>
</p><p><span>Hong Joong’s attention was caught by her words. It could be that they were all just very close friends but...</span><em><span>Mingi baby</span></em><span>? </span><em><span>Our</span></em> <em><span>Yunho</span></em><span>? His eyes flicked to her, trying to read her face. Somehow she reminded him of velvet covered steel. Soft and inviting on the outside but strong and unbending if struck. Somehow he knew, she was not one to be crossed.</span></p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you.” Hong Joong said, nodding once in Mingi’s direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Mingi said quietly, straightening up but still keeping his eyes down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I’m sorry about earlier,” Hong Joong continued. “I was just surprised and…” he trailed off and grimaced at himself. “Please, don’t be embarrassed. It was sweet. I wish I had anyone in my life that was that happy to see me.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Success</span>
  </em>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> he thought to himself as Mingi’s eyes lifted to meet his for a second. “I don’t suppose you are taking Chemistry this semester? I’m happy to help you too, if you are…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Mingi answered glumly. “I wish I had.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, the offer stands when you take it,” Hong Joong offered. “Of course, maybe by then Yunho will be an expert on all this and he can help you, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just going to be lucky if I can pass the tests,” Yunho gave a short chuffing laugh. “Please, don’t count on me being able to hold on to this in any useful way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll do fine,” Hong Joong laughed. “You’re doing so much better already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s see how I do on the test before we decide that,” Yunho demurred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Hong Joong smiled at Mingi. “I’m sorry about earlier and I’d like to maybe be friends. I have some people you should maybe meet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean,” Mingi asked, suspicious but curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some friends who are, well, like you...I think,” Hong Joong’s eyes flicked to her, still not sure what to make of her. It didn’t help that she was keeping silent. Then again, what had he said to her?</span>
</p><p><span>“What do you mean</span> <em><span>like you</span></em><span>?</span><span>” Mingi looked between Yunho and his classmate.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Uh, just...you know….” Hong Joong felt suddenly unsure. “Gay?” Somehow the last word ended as a question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi flushed, part of him wanted to object. After all, he didn’t like boys...or well, not just boys.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why are you always hanging around with him?” Mingi’s father asked him with a sigh. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s my best friend,” Mingi shrugged, moving the food around on his plate.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t like how he talks with you,” His father grumbled. “Always touching you when he laughs. Why can’t he ever be serious? Life’s not a joke.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re kids, honey,” his mother soothed. “Let them have fun while they can. And that Yunho boy is sweet. He’s so helpful when he comes around.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You just like that he helps you cook,” his father scoffed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s nice to have someone who isn’t afraid to help in the kitchen,” she admitted, sending her son a smile as she said it. “He is so lovely and helpful.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Boy’s aren’t supposed to be lovely.” His father let his silverware drop loudly to the table. “Boys are strong, reliable. Useful.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I would say helping in the kitchen is very useful,” she countered.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That isn’t the kind of useful that will get a guy anywhere in life,” his father insisted. “You didn’t marry me because I helped with the dishes. You married me because I could provide.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Times are changing dear,” she reminded him. “It wouldn’t be so bad for Mingi to know how to be both. Women these days expect more from guys.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fine, maybe cooking is good,” his father shrugged and grumbled. “The touching is too much. The world hasn’t changed that much. Men don’t do those things. No one wants to be around that stuff.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dear, really,”  she rolled her eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s going to end up alone like that,” his father insisted. “Guys don’t want to be friends with boys that do that, and no girl worth her salt would want to be with a boy that she feels like she has to compete with his friends for attention, especially that kind of attention.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Honey, drop it,” she warned.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why don’t you date that girl you two are always with,” he suggested, half changing the subject to placate his wife. “She puts up with you two. She’s sort of pretty too; you could do worse.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“She is wonderful,” his mother sent a glare to her husband. “You really should bring her around more. She is so fun to talk to.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“She’s been busy,” Mingi shrugged, hoping the excuse was good enough. “I mostly see her when we meet up to study. I don’t know when she can.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just remember,” His mother offered him a strained smile, knowing what she said was only half true. “Your friends are always welcome.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thanks mom,” Mingi offered her an attempt at a smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It might be nice to have some friends you don’t feel like you have to, well, hide from,” Hong Joong fiddled with one of the papers on the table. “You can think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one wants to see that,” Mingi said, his head ringing with the hundred ways his father had told him that; sneered when he saw those things he didn’t approve of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like something you heard a lot,” Hong Joong intuited, a hint of sadness in his tone. “My friends, you’d like them and I really think they would like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be nice to make more friends,” She responded. “We all moved here a few months ago and it would be nice to have some people to hang out with here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, we are having a Halloween party next weekend,” Hong Joong lit up as the idea struck him. “You should come. You can meet my friends and you’ll have fun.” He turned to Yunho and teased. “It would be a great way to celebrate that test you are going to ace next week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your faith in me is inspiring,” Yunho laughed. “But that could be fun. I guess we’ll have to see if we can make it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to be at my dorm,” Hong Joong explained. “Do you know where Whitby residence is is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah over on the north campus,” she confirmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “If you have costumes, wear them. It’s just going to be a good time. I really hope you will come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Mingi agreed, looking up at him finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great, great,” Hong Joong grinned. “Listen, I’m not sure I’m going to get a lot more out of studying tonight, but tomorrow I’m free. It’s Saturday but I would love to get in a little more studying if you would be up for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, sure,” Yunho nodded, grateful for an excuse to not try and concentrate anymore tonight. “Where did you want to meet to study?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The library is possible,” Hong Joong offered. “Or here is still fine with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yunho looked at Mingi, wondering if it might be okay or if he should push for the library.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can study here,” Mingi said quietly in the stillness of the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” She agreed. “You bring the brains, I can provide some study snacks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah of course,” Hong Joong gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks for, well, letting me come over and study. Being able to study here is great; no battling for the best study spaces or rules against snacks or drinks in some of the spaces.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Home is always a comfy place to study, if you can get away from distractions,” She took a step back away from her protective stance by Mingi as Hong Joong started to pack his things up. Yunho did the same, gathering his things up to carry them down the hall to his room and drop them on the little desk he had there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what are you studying?” She asked Hong Joong, filling the silence as he packed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Design actually,” Hong Joong replied. “It’s not exciting or anything, but it's where my passion is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That could be really interesting actually,” she replied supportively. “Are you interested in stuff like fashion, or interior design, or graphic design?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fashion and graphic design,” he was surprised by her interest, as well as her ability to engage in the subject at all. Most people were somewhat dismissive, outside of others in his department.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to do with that?” She asked, walking with him towards the front door, both boys trailing behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not sure yet,” He admitted. “I really like the idea of recycled fashion, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to know yet.” She shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True,” Hong Joong finally felt the tension he had been holding let go. “We have time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” She said enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, it was really nice to meet all of you,” Hong Joong adjusted his bag on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’ll see you tomorrow,” Yunho agreed. “Maybe around one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds good,” Hong Joong readily agreed. “See you then.” He opened his arms to offer the much taller boy a hug. Yunho paused for half a second before leaning down to take the offered hug. They pulled apart and he opened his arms to her, giving her a solid hug goodbye. Lastly he turned in the direction of a still quiet Mingi, offering him a hug as well. Mingi hesitated but gave in, leaning down to hug him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hong Joong held him for a few seconds longer than he had the other two. “I’m sorry again...I just...Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow when I come to study.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, probably,” Mingi fidgeted as he answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, see you later,” Hong Joong bid as he turned and walked out the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She closed the door behind him and Yunho immediately threw his arms around Mingi. “I’m so sorry for today. It was all my fault and I will do anything to let you know how sorry I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Mingi only half hugged him back. “I should have been more careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, love,” Yunho shook his head and pulled the other boy tightly against him. “This is home. You don’t have to be careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No...I have to be careful,” Mingi shook his head again, his eye prickling as the fear and emotion rose again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to always come home to a greeting like that,” Yunho insisted, turning his face to kiss the other boy's cheek. “Never hide how you feel for me. Not here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come here, loves,” she gave them gentle pulls, urging them to come sit with her on the couch. Yunho followed, taking Mingi with him and pulling him into his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay so I think we need to come up with a few house rules,” she suggested quietly. “Let’s start with agreeing not to bring anyone over without checking with everyone first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Yunho said quickly, pressing his forehead to Mingi’s shoulder. Mingi nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be nice to make friends here,” she said carefully. “Maybe we can find people who won’t find the three of us together weird, but that might take time. It’s probably worth a try but in the meantime, maybe we need to decide what we are when we aren’t at home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Mingi asked, giving her lost puppy eyes as he tried to decipher what she meant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, are we just roommates?” She proposed. “Just friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...don’t know,” Mingi said honestly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then we’re just friends for now until we decide differently.” She nodded, giving his leg a reassuring pat. “We’ll be careful and keep things at home. Maybe we can just ask Hong Joong to pretend he didn’t see anything. I’m sure he can just pretend nothing happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m sure he wouldn’t say anything,” Yunho agreed, not sure what he felt about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course the other alternative is,” she ventured slowly. “I’m just the friend here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the friend?” Mingi parroted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe it would be okay for you two to be a couple for a while,” she gave them a smile. “I don’t think people would think it is that weird if you two were together and had a female friend and roommate. Besides, maybe then you can see that most people don’t really think like your dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But…” Yunho trailed off, not sure what to say, but it didn’t sit right with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to decide,” she replied. “Not right now, but it is something to think about. It wouldn’t mean we can’t do stuff together, but maybe you two hold hands sometimes and maybe I don’t always make it to lunch on Tuesday or Thursday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Mingi sat up. “I don’t like that, it’s not the answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just an option,” she held up her hands. “We don’t have to decide now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No he’s right,” Yunho shook his head. “It’s always been all of us together unless it was at school or one of us was gone. It doesn’t feel right to pretend that it isn’t all of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only for a little while,” she promised. “And it was just an idea. Why don’t you two talk a little more and I’ll go pick up some dinner for us from one of the places nearby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can go with you,” Mingi offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can both come,” Yunho leaned forward as Mingi moved to get up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t worry,” she shook her head. “It won’t take me long.” She looked at Yunho and gave him a bright smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Take care of our boy for me, and you two can clear the table up the rest of the way for me. Does chicken sound good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure,” Yunho agreed. She patted Mingi’s knee and stood up, heading over to where she had left her bag by the door. Slinging it over her shoulder, she gave the boys a wave and headed out the door. She made it all the way down the curve in the road to where it dead-ended into the road that they walked along every day to head to the university for her to give up being strong. They couldn’t see her now and that was what mattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears clouded her vision and she sat down on the edge of the sidewalk to allow herself five minutes to let it all out. Moving in was supposed to make things easier. They were supposed to be together and feel free to be themselves. But suddenly the outside world had intruded. It was easy to steel her spine and make a show like she thought everything was going to be fine. They needed that from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could still see how timid Mingi was to make the first move with Yunho. That he had done what he did this afternoon, only to have things blow up like this, was about the worst thing she could have imagined. She wondered if Mingi ever noticed how he would reach for her first, covering for himself, before he let himself reach for Yunho. Sometimes she could almost hear Mingi’s father’s voice echoing out of his ears when he suddenly froze, questioning if he was doing something wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someday she would say her piece to that man. But not now. Mingi needed his support for school and there was no way of telling what stupid thing he would do if he heard that his son was more than just friends with Yunho. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one here knew them, no one here was friends with their parents, so she wasn’t worried in particular that anything would get back to him. Maybe having a chance to really see that everyone doesn’t find two boys in love strange or gross would be good. Of course there would always be some people who ‘didn’t approve’, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not that it was their place to have an opinion either way</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But it would be good for him to finally step out of the shadow his father had put him in his whole life. He was too kind, too sweet, too affectionate, too soft. He wasn’t strong enough, forceful enough, confident enough. No one could have been, not even a clone of himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s one thing to ruin your own life with your self hatred,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she fumed internally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s another to let that taint everything that you do with your kid</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Enough,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she told herself wiping her face and taking a few steadying breaths. They would work through it eventually, together as they always had. It would be fine. They just had to be careful, really. Much as she knew that Mingi was disgruntled that they weren’t in more classes together, it was probably for the best. The less time they were together outside, the fewer questions anyone would ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had thought about suggesting that they all make their own friends, maybe even have a little more time apart, but she hadn’t suggested it after seeing their reaction to the idea that maybe the two of them could spend a little more time together or even consider letting themselves be ‘out.’ Maybe it was a dumb idea, she admitted, but she was tired of watching them hurt. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It didn’t really have to change anything,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she promised herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing up, she wiped her face and pulled herself together, and headed to the restaurant to pick up dinner. By the time she got back home she would be fine. She would make sure they never saw it worry her.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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